Never wipe tears without gloves

Never wipe tears without gloves
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Never wipe tears without gloves

Questa mini-serie svedese, “Never Wipe Tears Without Gloves” (Mai asciugare le lacrime senza guanti) ha battuto la super serie “Game of Thrones” al recente festival di Parigi dedicato alle serie TV ed ha trionfato ai Kristallen, gli Oscar svedesi. In Svezia, trasmessa dalla rete pubblica in prima serata, è stata seguita da una media del 34% di spettatori (1,2 milioni). Lo sceneggiatore gay Jonas Gardell, che in contemporanea ha pubblicato anche un libro omonimo (il primo di una trilogia, Amore, Malattia, Morte, uno per ognuno dei tre episodi della serie), è uno degli scrittori e commediografi svedesi più conosciuti ed apprezzati del suo Paese. Jonas Gardell è stato nominato Personalità gay dell’anno alla Swedish Gay Gala 2013, premio consegnatogli personalmente dalla principessa della Corona svedese. La storia che racconta è in parte autobiografica, ha ammesso Gardell, tratta da ricordi ed esperienze personali. Il regista Simon Kaijser ha detto di essersi emozionato alla prima lettura della sceneggiatura, “Ho pianto appena giunto alla quinta pagina, bisogna essere fatti di pietra per non emozionarsi”. Molti hanno paragonato questa serie al capolavoro americano “Angels in America”. Sono già stati acquistati i diritti per la sua trasposizione in film. La storia è ambientata a Stoccolma negli anni ’80 e ci mostra la cultura e l’ambiente gay di quegli anni, la prima diffusione dell’Aids e la paura ed i pregiudizi che l’accompagnarono. La vicenda è narrata in prima persona da Benjamin, un Testimone di Geova che viene invitato alla festa natalizia a casa di Paul, uno scheccante omosessuale che è solito prendere sotto le sue ali giovani gay insicuri. Alla festa Benjamin conosce Rasmus, un giovane fuggito dalla piccola comunità di Koppom ed appena arrivato a Stoccolma per poter vivere liberamente la sua vita da gay. I due giovani si piacciono subito e s’innamorano, desiderosi di costruirsi una vita insieme. I problemi che devono affrontare non sono pochi, come quello di Benjamin che non vuole rivelare ai genitori la sua omosessualità, ma la gioia del nuovo amore fa vivere felicemente entrambi. Nel secondo episodio assistiamo al coming out di Benjamin ed al conseguente rifiuto da parte dei genitori mentre inizia la diffusione dell’aids, e muore uno degli amici del piccolo gruppo gay…



trailer: Never wipe tears without gloves


Mini serie tv in tre episodi di 60 minuti ciascuno. Trasmessa in Svezia con grande successo di pubblico e critica è stata acquistata dalla BBC che la trasmette il 1 dicembre 2013.


Script writer and author Jonas Gardell brings us a very interesting, genuinely touching, heart- wrenching and important piece of modern history. It deals with the start of the AIDS epidemic in 1980’s homophobic Sweden.
It is a love story between Rasmus and Benjamin, two young men from very different backgrounds, in a time when homosexuality was still very much a taboo subject and not socially accepted.
But it is also a story of a time when young men in the gay community suddenly started to fall ill, whither away and die, in what became known as the “Gay Plague”. A new virus shook the world and nobody knew how to deal with it. Ignorance lead to scaremongering, prejudices and enormous stigma, as the title suggests.
It is un-sentimental, yet truly and deeply touching. Beautifully filmed, well directed and phenomenally acted. The two leads Adam Palsson and Adam Lundgren give honest, moving, raw and believable performances as Rasmus and Benjamin, fighting for their love and acceptance from both their families and society. Simon J Berger shines in his portrayal of their friend, the flamboyant, fiercely loyal, brutally honest and truly life affirming “Paul”. Bjorn Kjellman, narrator and also playing the older “Benjamin” is not featured so much but his performance is heart-breaking and honest. The supporting cast (especially the parents) are also VERY strong and provide a real backbone to the piece.
An important series that shows the dangers of ignorance and prejudice, the importance of love, acceptance and remembrance and a reminder that as “Paul” says: Nobody gets to live their life over, that’s the point. (Camilla Bard, Imdb)


Rasmus tries to hold a calm exterior but his breathing is way too rapid and his eyes witness of his agony and his fear of dying. It breaks Benjamin’s heart to see the love of his life suffer like that. “Can’t I hold you?” he asks. Rasmus turns his back to him. “No, you can’t,” he says demonstratively. His breathing is quicker and more shallow now. They are silent for a moment.

“Why won’t you let me hold you?” Rasmus looks over his shoulder at him. “Because I could infect you.”

“Well, if that’s the case then I’m already infected, aren’t I.” Benjamin touches Rasmus’ shoulder lightly, tries to calm him, tries to console him. But he’s brushed off. “Don’t touch me. I said don’t touch me.” But Benjamin is not going to let his lover carry all his pain alone. He throws his arms around Rasmus, forces his arms down to his sides so that he can’t get away. Rasmus tries to wriggle free and yells at him; “I said don’t touch me. Don’t touch me! Let me go!”

But Benjamin only fastens his grip och forces Rasmus down onto the floor. Rasmus screams, “don’t touch me, don’t touch me,” and kicks and tries to twist away. Fear has completely taken hold of him now. But Benjamin tightens his grip on Rasmus’ arms and puts all of his weight onto Rasmus to hold him down. Rasmus yells at him again but his voice cracks into a soft sob. “Don’t touch me, Benjamin. I said don’t touch me.” He struggles to get free again but Benjamin is not letting up.

The struggle goes on longer than Benjamin thought it would. He tries to keep calm while Rasmus twists and turns underneath him. He is stronger than Rasmus. He’s stronger even when the rush of adrenaline and panic and fear has taken over his lover’s body and mind. There is nothing to do, nothing to say other than the mantra he keeps repeating over and over to them both. “Calm down, calm down, calm down…” Try to stay calm Benjamin, he thinks. Calm him. Help him. Comfort him. Save him. But there they are and Rasmus is screaming and crying; “don’t touch me, don’t touch me,” and they both know he’s going to die soon and die horrifically.

Eventually Rasmus gives up, kicks out one more time before going completely limp in Benjamin’s arms. But he cries and cries and he’s shivering and shaking so much that Benjamin doesn’t dare let go of him yet, even though his hold on Rasmus is way too tight. It’s too tight because he had to win their struggle. Win to take control, be the stronger of the two, the one who can comfort and calm the other and not let himself be broken by that horrible four-letter word A. I. D. S. that will tear them apart.

Rasmus is slim and not as strong as Benjamin and it’s easy for Benjamin to hold him down. His arms are around Rasmus to keep him still and his legs wrapped around Rasmus’ to keep him from breaking free. Benjamin’s upper body is the only part of him that isn’t trying to fetter his lover to the ground. It seeks to comfort by soft and warm skin against Rasmus’ back.

It takes a while before the shivers and the sobs die down and Benjamin finally dares to let go of Rasmus’ arms and wrists. Then he lets his hands wander to Rasmus’ wet cheeks to gently caress the tears that just won’t stop falling.

“Come,” he says softly to Rasmus, “come.” Come and let me comfort you. Or come back to me, don’t leave me. He isn’t sure which of the two he means, maybe both. He gets on his feet and grabs Rasmus gently by the arm. “Come, come,” he says softly.

Rasmus doesn’t look at him, just stands up and allows Benjamin to guide him back to their bed. His expression is empty and his behaviour almost apathetic. Benjamin waits while Rasmus lies down then slides in to bed next to him and pulls up the covers. The bed linens are cold now. He thinks about how fast they go cold once you’ve gotten out of bed and he realizes that his remaining time with Rasmus will go by just as quickly. That Rasmus will go from being a warm, and very much alive, human being to becoming a cold and empty shell of what was once a person. The thought is so painful he almost starts to cry but he quickly forces himself to stay calm.

He embraces Rasmus again but this time the hug is soft and warm and comforting. He plants little kisses on Rasmus’ shoulder blade and whispers, “I love you. I will never leave you.” He doesn’t expect an answer and receives none. He holds Rasmus in his arms for a long, long time. He’s completely drained of energy himself, feels empty inside, so exhausted and scared. He doesn’t want to lose Rasmus, he wants Rasmus to live, he loves him so much. His head is spinning and after a while he’s so tired he can’t stay awake anymore. His head drops heavily onto the pillow and without even noticing it he falls asleep.

It isn’t before he’s snoring softly that Rasmus replies. “And I love you.” His voice is low, so low you almost can’t hear it. “But…” He can’t make himself finish the sentence – not aloud at least, because then he will start crying again. And even though he tries not to even think about it, the last words force their way into his mind; …I will have to leave

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